• First of all, I try to talk things out with our Lord in my prayer regarding this important project entrusted to my care. It may be something small (a 4-page issue with a circulation of 500),yet it is something that can be done well and sanctified.
• Second, I do not do it all alone. I always discuss things with the other staff members, making decisions based on the ideas that come in. For this issue, we decided that we would pass on the writing of articles to the contributors. Knowing that others are sharing the burden with you lightens it up.
• Thirdly, if things don't go as planned, to smile and make the necessary adjustments. After all, nothing is guaranteed foolproof in this imperfect world of ours.

Thus I carry on with order and optimism, despite the looming deadlines.

There must be Some purpose To a talent Something far beyond For after awhile When I have stopped trying to write I take up my pen and go on A rediscovery Paradoxically Different and the same Ad the last time I took paper and pen Putting my thoughts into concrete words Conveying my dreams to the world So I write Once again Not anymore For myself My own sake But to lead all to the Source From which all these came from -jara- (c. 2002)

I have passed all my requirements last week and I’m hoping I can get in to the mid-year residency program. That’s all I’m up to for now, aside from building up this blog. A part of me though wishes that I may not start in the next two months but only at the end of this year. I should be thinking of all possible Plan B’s for now. Then again, who knows what God has planned for me… Patience really is a path to virtue.

Having personal knowledge of many practitioners in my field (even some of my classmates in medical school!) encroached by a contraceptive mentality and pro-choice stance, it gives me a lot of hope to know Catholic doctors the younger generation of doctors can emmulate. http://www.mercatornet.com/articles/saintly_scientists_hate_the_disease_love_the_diseased/?view http://www.mercatornet.com/articles/saintly_scientists_love_always_wins/

I wasn't officially part of the recent Rural Service Project in Sitio Ibo, Brgy. Pondol, Balamban , Cebu until the penultimate minute.... When I was asked to make room in my schedule to be part of the Rurals, my first reaction was "Ok......" When I was asked to take care of the kitchen, my reaction was "Hey wait a minute!..." Then I was also asked to take charge of the finances so I said "This is the job I really hate!!!!" Yet, I still went to the rurals....Now what was I thinking? My first rural service project was in the summer of '98 in Kibawe, Bukidnon. I enjoyed the experienced immensely, never mind the inconveniences. It's not only work but there was also a lot of "laag" galore! Friendships were formed too! Since then, I have been helping out in the rurals as my schedule would permit. April 2007 in Balamban also marked my first as a licensed physician....and my first as being totally in-charge of the kitchen...Incidentally, this also happened to have the most number of shall we say...."incidences"... The van got bumped into, the faucet had to be replaced, allergy attacks, toad invasion of the sleeping quarters, visits from the "tuko"(gecko) ..... ....And here's generalized view of my kitchen woes: perennially changed schedules, stored smelly garbage, dogs on the prowl, lack of time management, spoiled meat, leaking water dispenser, no refrigerator!, late food deliveries, "delivery multicab" a no show, "delivery tricycle" going around in circles, surpluses and unexpected expenditures, undercooked rice, overpriced fruits..... ...But nothing, absolutely nothing can top the fire from the leaking rubber hose connecting the gas tank to the stove.... and getting 1st degree flash burns while I was supervising 3 high schoolers! Will I ever volunteer to take part of the rurals again? Of course! My catering service is BOOMING!!!! These are my realizations:

• Guardian angels exist! The damage to property and person from the fire could have been worse... We would have made headlines burning down the whole school!
• My profession is still much needed in so many out of the way places.
• The work of the home is something imbued with dignity...and inspite of all the difficulties that came my way during this rural service project, I have fallen in love with this work.... and perhaps in the not so far off future, i can dedicate my time and effort to it.

I would like to share with you this piece written by a quadreplegic Spanish priest who teaches college level students at a university in Spain. After reading this, I decided to start counting the blessings and disregarding the complaints. Do read on! The Spiral of Complaining (Translator’s note: spiral – the path of a point in a plane moving around a central point while continuously receding from or approaching it [Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary]) Alfonso Aguiló Often perhaps, we discover ourselves complaining about little feelings of rejection, lacks of consideration or carelessness of others. We observe in our interior that half-suppressed complaint, that groan, that lament that grows and grows although we may not want it. And we see that the more we find refuge in it, we find more reasons to keep on complaining; the more we enter deeply in those reasons, the more complicated they become. It is the complaint of a heart that feels that it never receives what it deserves. A complaint expressed in a thousand ways, but which always ends up creating a rock bottom of bitterness and deception. There is an enormous and dark power in that vehement interior complaint. Every time a person allows himself to be seduced by those ideas, he gets tangled up a little bit more in a spiral of endless feelings of rejection. The condemnation of others and the condemnation of oneself grow more and more. One goes deeper into the labyrinth of his own discontent until finally he can feel that he is the most misunderstood, rejected and looked down upon. Besides, to complain is many times counterproductive. When we lament about something with the hope of inspiring pity and thus receiving a satisfaction, the result is frequently the contrary. Habitual complaining leads to feeling more rejected because it is exhausting to live with someone who tends to think she is the victim or sees snub and contempt in everything, or expects from others-or from life in general-what ordinarily cannot be demanded. The root of that frustration is, more often than not, the person’s disappointment in herself and it is difficult to give an answer to her complaints because in the end, the person she rejects is her own self. Once the complaint becomes strong in someone-in her interior or in her exterior attitude-, that person loses spontaneity to the point that the joy she observes in others tends to evoke in her a feeling of sadness, even malice. In the face of others’ joys, right away she begins to be suspicious. Joy and resentment cannot coexist; when there is resentment, joy, instead of inviting joy, leads to greater rejection. That attitude of complaining is even greater when it is associated with a constant reference to one’s own virtue, to an assumed self-righteousness: “I do this and that and I’m working here, thinking about that, trying those other things… while he or she doesn’t bother, moves lazily, goes about her own things, that’s the way they are…” As Henri J. M. Nouwen has written, complaints and touchiness appear to be mysteriously linked to praiseworthy attitudes in oneself. It’s all a pathological style of thinking which enormously enrages the one who suffers it. Just at the moment of wanting to talk or act from the most altruistic and dignified attitude, she finds herself caught by sentiments of rage or bitterness. The more unselfish she tries to be, the more obsessed she is in valuing what she does. The more she conscientiously tries to do everything possible, the more she asks herself why the others do not do the same. The more generous she wants to show herself to be, the more she envies those who give in to egoism. When one falls into that spiral of criticism and disapproval, everything loses its spontaneity. Annoyance blocks perception, one becomes the envious, constantly gets angry because she is not given what, according to her, she deserves. She suspects everything, thinks everything is calculated and filled with second intentions. The least movement requires a counter movement. The least commentary should be analyzed, the most insignificant gesture should be evaluated. Life becomes a strategy of insults and demands. At the bottom of everything, a resentful and complaining I appears constantly. What is the solution to this? Perhaps the best is to exert effort in having more faith and gratitude. We know that gratitude and resentment cannot co-exist. The discipline of gratitude is an explicit effort to receive everything that happens to us, with joy and serenity. Gratitude implies a constant choice. I can choose to be grateful even though my first emotions and feelings may be filled with sorrow. We will be surprised by the number of times we can opt for gratitude instead of complaining. There is an Estonian saying which goes: “He who is not grateful in little things will neither be in much.” Little acts of gratitude make one grateful. Most of all because little by little, they make us see that if we look at things with perspective, in the end we will realize that everything turns out for the good.