Disco Without Dancing (near midnight; 8-19-00; Zero Below) 7/07/2007 10:46:00 AM

This was not a good idea...
To be bathed in darkness
As psychedelic lights go on
Reflecting a packed dance floor.
The beat infectious, haunting
The crowd wild:
Screaming, shouting - the laughter
At something... I can't begin to comprehend
So I begin to turn philosophical
And ask:
Are theyquite content
Dancing the night away
To drown out some
Unexplainable pain
While they down another drink
And party... Party!
Up to the break of dawn?
...And what in the world
Managed to hold up their dresses?!
Kind of amused now
As I continue to check out the scene
Yet once in a while
I let my tears run
Against the waft of venomous smoke...
I guess it's trying to
Fight for my attention
Against the dizzying sights
Of gyrating bodies
And astrolobe lights...
I knew then that -> I would smell
Like air conditioning, cigarettes
And alcohol
For the rest of my life!
And I wonder
If being here
Was worth such the horror...
Oh well...
Better use my time
To text some unsuspecting buddy
Someone
Who will manage to appreciate
This whole set-up
More than I do now-
From a corner table
Wringing my hands
Shaking my head as
Smoke and lights drive me nuts
Fighting the drowsiness
Of my early bird internal clock
While barely, just barely
Contemplating the merits
Of a suggested
Order of cheese-flavored popcorn
To munch on
While the credits
Of this unappetizing movie
Plays out before my mind.
-jara-
(c.2000, re-edited 2007)
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In my Friendster site, someone has described me as not afraid to be different. I have always been different since I was way back in grade school, and a non-conformist. I don't like noise when I'm studying (even some mellow or classic music in the background is out of the question) and I don't like parties where a lot of people are around whom I don't know well. But to humor my classmate, friend and barkada Toki, I entered a disco for the first and last time to celebrate her birthday with her along with everybody in my Biology class (we are all pretty close, even up to now). Needless to say, I didn't enjoy myself.
This poem was also alluded to in my moment of fame on an interview for a local paper (maybe if I can find my copy of it, I'll post that old article here...)
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"I don't have anything against dancing. I only have something against me dancing!"