SEX.

This three-letter word has been overused and abused time and again. Frankly, society has trivialized and made it utilitarian to the point that makes it bereft of any meaning.

When we get back to what is the essence of this God-given power to transmit life generation after generation, it is only then that one sees its innate beauty.

I end this short post with a Valentine's Day prayer that I came across as I believe God has to be part and parcel of any human love:

Dear Lord, who art high in the Heavens,
Giver of Love and Passion,
And He who strings the heart’s cords,
Lead the Lovers this day, February ten plus four.
The day during the month of two,
When the date is the perfect number of God
Greater two souls and two hearts.
Some Loves are fleeting ,
But that which is built on you will never fail.
So guide the Lovers to know what is to be.
Your truths the Lovers’ mouths should speak,
For Your truth is that which is honest to the heart.
Only this, then, should pass over the red lips of the Lovers.
Your art, the Lovers simply a medium.
It is only with True Hearts that You can create a Masterpiece,
So let the Lovers remember that their Soul’s Desire
Is the one for which You light their Fire.
And let it be You who creates the Art of the Lovers;
The art of two into one.
Amen.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Read about St. Valentine here.

The Year of Faith officially began last October 11, 2012 and will last until November 24, 2014. The Holy Father Benedict XVI had written Porta Fidei a year ago in preparation for this. The Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith has also released a Note with pastoral recommendations for the Year of Faith.
Just looking around me, I realize that there is a lot more to be done in this world regards with the faith. I have noticed that Catholics where I live are generally pious, but are not actually particular about receiving the sacraments, especially the Sacrament of Confession more frequently. There is a certain compartmentalization of one's life where in the message can be read as: "I am a Catholic inside this parish church", but elsewhere: "Earning as much as I can to the detriment of others remains supreme." Then there are those who say firmly: "I'm a Catholic who is a member of so-and-so organization/movement/charismatic group", and then will declare: "Well... ethics is relative!"
I guess this might be the effect of a lack of firm doctrinal formation, and the ability to live one's life true to the Catholic faith wherever one is. Catechesis seems to be reserved only for children, and the little that a lot of adult Catholics get is what they may-listen-to-if-they-chose-to during Sunday mass homily. There is so much to the Catholic faith that a lot of people are missing out on. As human beings, we can always improve in the knowledge of the faith the same way that we can always delve into another hobby or go into more specialized studies in our respective fields of interest.
I believe that one can only call oneself a faithful Catholic if one has made the effort to at least read through the Catechism of the Catholic Church and the Compendium of the Catechism of the Catholic Church. When better to start doing so than during the Year of  Faith?

I was diagnosed with atypical varicella zoster (a.k.a a not-so-usual presentation of your supposedly childhood chicken pox) which gave me a few crops of typical lesions with no other associated symptoms...
Owing to the fact that I was busy and felt otherwise fine, it took almost a week for me to see a dermatologist and got a delay in the diagnosis...
Still, I was made to stay in quarantine at home for another week... What was this usually busy radiologist to do, cooped up at home?
Looking back in the week, I actually had several things going on:
- preparing in advanced talks I will be giving
- readings of Porta Fidei and the accompanying Note with Pastoral Recommendations on the Year of the Faith
- a bit of spring cleaning
- going over old pictures in CD's to pick the ones for a slide show
- working at home with a provided portable viewbox a.k.a. negatoscope and x-ray films brought in for twice a day reading
- more time in prayer
I guess I was busy afterall...  
;-)

Murphy's Law: "If anything can go wrong, it will..."

My Half-Eaten Birthday Cake ;-)

My only (and younger) brother (a.k.a. Kuya Monster, a.k.a "Gifted Child") will be arriving dawn tomorrow from his 2 years in Europe to earn a master's degree in Vision and Robotics via the Erasmus Mundus Programme. The lucky guy has been studying in 3 different university campuses is three different European countries (Edinburg in UK, Girona in Spain and Burgundy in France). He did the semester of research in Barcelona, Spain. He has spent his semestral breaks and free time road-tripping in Spain, watching a football game,  visiting Paris Disneyland, and resting for a while in Italy on the invitation of a classmate. He even saw the Pope pass by in the Popemobile while he was in Edinburg. 


The wonder of modern day communication is that, by just using Skype, it sort of felt like he was never away. I personally do not even feel like I missed him (although I'm sure our mother does). The female members of the family can just badger him regarding the length of his yet uncut hair, ask him if he has found a  European girlfriend already or inquire about any asthma attacks. He was usually just a private message away on YM when you wanted to schedule the video chats. Emails were exchanged back and forth when his passport was lost to a pickpocket and we had to settle his documents at our end and send it back to where he was. His pictures of the myriad of places he visited (albeit without any captions - he's always been a man of a few words...) are well within our reach via his Facebook account. There was even one or two times when we "met" one of his fellow scholars who was around while we talked over video chat.


This was a far cry from the time we only had long distance telephone calls or snail mail to count on with regards a loved-one who was at a distance for a time or permanently.


Welcome home, Kuya!


I wonder what other things you are planning with your life, from hereon now...

It's been sometime since I have paid attention to this blog, probably because I have been busy with other forms of social media, and have been mainly posting via mobile, which can be difficult for something longer than a paragraph. Perhaps I have been a bit lazy in this manner (and impatient with using an old, oftentimes-lagging desktop with Windows XP OS). And yet I realize that this is actually the social media form that is closest to my heart as it is nearest to pen and paper and ideas alone in my room... I once upon a time answered a panel interview that if I had not been pursuing a field of science, I would have been a writer, a poet actually, and I do dabble with poetry online as well... Then the only time I had the courage to apply to the school paper staff in high school, the adviser put me as literary editor (which was my dream position that time). To make a long story short, I have had a long term relationship with words which I could not leave off just because I am now in practice in the highly technical field of diagnostic radiology.


Perhaps this is the time to begin blogging regularly again. There are endless possibilities with this medium of communication, and at the same time I find it a highly enjoyable hobby.


A few weeks back, I was in a closed retreat with no access to the internet whatsoever. In that time of intense prayer with God, I remember thinking of what more I can do with my inclination to be tech-savvy (it comes with an orientation of working with medical imaging equipment all the time) and to be online more often than not to connect with people, keep in touch, exchange views... This is definitely part of the New Evangelization that is asked of me! 


Thus, I resolve to make at least a bi-monthly substantial post (excluding the poetry on the other blog) on different topics of interest.


Nunc coepi! Now, I begin again! 

To all clinicians, especially internists and pulmonologists: We radiologists would appreciate it if you do not insist that we read single ancillary views of the chest (lateral, lordotic and decubitus views) without looking at a recent PA or AP view, if you want us to render the best standard of care for your patients.

You would not want a detective to solve a crime without examining all the clues, would you?

The recent past has held its share of painful memories. Yet I owe it to myself to transcend it. Sometimes, it amazes me how people believe that I have yet to move on and continue to misinterpret even comments on my own Facebook page.

Oh yet more things to offer up for love of God!

And I do know that I am only accountable to God in the end, not anyone else.

At several points in my life, I have had my share of rejections, rebuffs, even - believe it or not- an attempt to get signatures to get rid of me.

Somehow, I find myself wondering if never having to face such circumstances would have been better...

It's true that I would have been spared the pain, the fears, the anxiety, yet at the cost of missed chances to show that I can change, I can be brave, I can rise to the occasion.

Would it have been better otherwise? ... Not at all!

"Omnia in bonum."

While waiting for the results of my third and last Philipine Board of Radiology examinations, I have been thinking of a post for my long-neglected blog. At this point of my life, I could think of no better post than to explain why I am a Roman Catholic, who happens to be a medical doctor. I definitely was baptized 25 years before I passed the medical board exams and became serious in living my faith a couple of years before I stepped into a secular medical school.

I still find it disheartening that many of my colleagues think "Ethics is relative" (believe it or not, the one who said this actually is a member of a Catholic charismatic group) or declare in public that one uses oral contraception herself (at the same time she used to be a lector and name-drops members of the team of pastors at my parish) or is thinking of going into the ethically questionable subspecialty of mainstream reproductive endocrinology and thinks teaching only Natural Family Planning to indigents is impossible (said OB-GYN is also member of a Catholic charismatic group) or be in a mandated parish organization while being riled up that the sterilization census at the OB-GYN department in a local government hospital one heads is at an all-time low.... I could go on and on with a list of people with this one question in mind---Why do you leave your Catholicism outside the door when confronted with professional and personal decisions? And yes, it can get so ignorant and bad as the above lector stating "for the success of the in-vitro procedure of..." as one of the Mass intentions. This sort of compartmentalization of personal, professionsal and religious spheres of one's life into different nooks and cranies has to stop!

I for one cannot understand why people who spend years working on their profession cannot take the time to study and give importance to their own doctrinal-spiritual growth which should be evem more important than their professional formation. When I met and eventually joined Opus Dei, I learned that this was also an important aspect of one's life-long formation. Right next to my medical books, I also read the Catechism of the Catholic Church, a medical ethics book by a priest who used to work as a medical doctor, and read encyclicals such as Humanae Vitae and Evangelium Vitae. I took the time to attend classes and talks on marriage, chastity, sexuality and ethics. I spent time studying up on issues related to my profession as well. I accepted as my own and made the effort to defend the Church's stand on life issues.

My being a future radiologist is not the most important thing. Being a Roman Catholic and trying to live faithful to the teachings of the Magisterium comes first.

There is something about change, about several possibilities open to you that can be frightening. That's the reason why these upcoming exams seem to appear so overwhelming, even if I'm sure that passing is not the end all and be all of my professional career...

And then there are realizations pointed out to you that make you second guess what you have thought that you have gotten figured out for years. It seems like you might never have belonged from the start, and all the effort was at a loss right from the beginning...

And thus one reaches the crossroads...

What path do I take now? Where is this road about to lead me?

A day at a time... Taking a step at a time...

I'm in for another long holiday from most internet activity (except for email) in order to study for two sets of diplomate exams in January. Pray for me and wish me luck.

By a twist of fate, I will be asked to cover for the ultrasonologists at the hospital where I am working even before I have passed all my diplomate exams. It just so happens that both will be out of town for the duration of two whole days with no one available to cover for them. Who wouldn't be apprehensive in such circumstances?
I guess I shall have to rise up to the occasion...

For about a decade now (and without fail), I have realized that our Lord, in his loving providence, and out of special love for me, would send me, every year sometime around my birthday, what I now refer to as my "Birthday Cross".
It is oftentimes a small thing, only bearing value and meaning to myself, but at times, also some tragic or seemingly catastrophic event.
I do know that He uses it in order to teach me the reason behind suffering and slowly lead me up the path to my heavenly home.
I also try to be grateful for His gift by trying to offer it up, though it may be hard, in order to further some apostolic plan.
It is perhaps no coincidence that I received the Sacrament of Baptism on the 14th of September, seven days after I was born...

"Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds upon the heel that crushes it."
by Mark Twain

Every day has been a challenge in learning to let go of sweeping generalizations and suspicions for the past few months... You would too if you were in my case... Soon enough, I realized that things should change as I had no peace... It has been pretty much up and down... Someday, I hope to conquer all.

While I was a medical student, I rotated at the local regional government hospital for a total of 15 days. Though I was there for only a short period of time, I came to the conclusion that there is no need for any further legislation (i.e. the Reproductive Health Bill) regarding the use of contraception or sterilization. The mechanism is already in place right at this level.

As soon as an indigent patient is brought to the delivery room,and subsequently advised to undergo a second caesarian section (or succeeding thereof), one is immediately advised to have a bilateral tubal ligation as well and then wife and husband are asked to sign a consent form. I observed this to be the standard operating procedure. No further explanations are made to help the patient in labor pains to come to an informed decision. I guess the few staff around were too busy attending to more patients coming in that giving said patient all the information she needs such as explanations of what to expect, pros and cons, including possible side effects (i.e. ectopic pregnancies in the blocked fallopian tube) would take too much of their time.

I was completely appalled when one mother about to have a third caesarian section was berated and bad-mouthed by resident physicians, nurses and midwives for deciding not to have a bilateral tubal ligation at the same time, what is known as C/S + BTL in medical parlance. The said patient was already crying (from the emotional barrage and the pains of labor) but firmly stuck to her decision. The husband was also unwilling to sign the consent. I decided to whisper to her to be strong and stick to her choice. The residents gave as reason that there are usually a lot of adhesions (Aren’t there surgical SOP’s done to prevent this from happening?) and when the next caesarian section is done, the procedure becomes technically difficult. A good enough argument, yet are not doctors supposed to honor the patient’s decision (without coercing her to change it by emotional abuse) and render their expertise with competence? If the uterus thus becomes so scarred after having been cut open several times as to render it diseased, hysterectomy thus may be performed without violating the bioethical principle of bodily integrity. I know of several persons who have had multiple caesarian sections (one had at least 7) and may have had difficult deliveries but mother and children come out fine, thanks to medical advances and the proficiency of attending OB-GYNE’s.

My personal experience with conscientious objection to assisting the OB-GYNE resident in performing a bilateral tubal ligation after doing a caesarian section was met with rolling of eyeballs and snide remarks in the operating room. In other circumstances, it might also mean a few more days rotation within that department (serving an extension, as we call it) or other such sanctions. With the passage of this bill, I pity the young aspiring doctors who want to be consistent with their faith and ethics who would now be faced with large fines and/or imprisonment for such actions.

At the out-patient services department, mothers who have at least two children are at once instructed on the different methods they can avail of during their first post-natal check-up. There is bias for artificial contraceptives, of course as all manufactured products have shelf lives and need to be disposed of as soon as possible (not a few of these contraceptive devices are surpluses from elsewhere). Anyway, in medical school there is little mention of natural family planning (NFP) which is always mentioned while dismissing it as “highly unreliable”. I wish they also gave us time to learn how to teach these methods to couples as part of our medical curriculum, in the same manner that they teach us to write prescriptions for artificial chemical contraceptives or show us how to insert IUD’s in medical school. In that way, there would be absolutely no bias for those wanting to go in this specialized field of medicine to just write down a prescription rather than take time to explain a method.

It also seems that government hospitals may also have a certain quota for sterilization procedures as one friend of mine noted that during an endorsement, the chairperson of the department of obstetrics and gynecology queried her residents regarding the fact that their census for said procedures had gone down for the month. They did not know that it was thanks to the way my friend tactfully and slowly explained to the mothers in the delivery room NFP and the value of openness to welcome another life even in the midst of poverty: Not another mouth to feed but two more hands to help.


Note: I initially wrote this as a letter to the editor (It was never published.) I think I then posted it I Oppose the RH Bill facebook group discussion forum. It was eventually placed in 100% Katolikong Pinoy facebook community page (using just my initials) without my knowledge. I eventually acknowledged it as my post and I now wish to post it here in my personal blog as well. 

I have never in my life ever taken any kind of examination, board exam or otherwise outside of my beloved Cebu City (except maybe for a seminar or two here and there). This was going to be a first. 


After weeks of cramming both the completion of my research paper (which finally was approved), compilation of requirements and a 2-session crash course on radiation physics by our hospital's medical physicist for the benefit of all Cebu-based examiners, I found myself in the auditorium of the Lung Center of the Philippines with 99 other hopefuls (6 of us based in Cebu City, and I was the lone female). 
We had breakfast (although I already ate at the home of my host family for the night) and snacks for the afternoon prepared for us. I had to change places as the writing arm of the seat I was initially assigned to did not work. We had unlimited supply of a variety of candies (I still have a vivid picture of one Cebuano co-examinee sucking on a mini-Chupa Chups lollipop thoughtfully). We had to hurdle 3 sets of questionnaires for this exam (cumulative rating) on applied anatomy in radiology, procedures in radiology and radiation physics. I got distracted by the fact that people did not seem to pay attention to instructions. And i went on answering the exam, nevermind if I was not able to review my answers for the first set. I did manage to finish the last set 15 minutes ahead of time and immediately left the venue to be able to attend noontime Holy Mass @ Sto. Domingo Church in Quezon City. 


...And here's the answer to my prayers:

Exam Results Here...

Will be staying off blogging for the rest of the month until after the Philippine Board of Radiology Examination Part I on June 18th... Hope to be back and joining TBR after the exams. :)

This is a simple enough title for TBR3 2nd ed hosted by Gaya...  


10 Things With More Time
1. Finish reading all books by Tolkien which I haven't read yet (I have been reading "The Lord of the Rings" for the past 4 years, and I am still in the first chapters of "The Return of the King")
2. Go on more restaurant lunch outs with my sisters.
3. Explore a zoo.
4. Go on another mini-trekking trip.
5. Get serious with the my stamp-collecting habits.
6. Write more letters (snail mail).
7. Go spelunking.
8. Take a long walk in the middle of a centuries-old forest.
9.  Develop a butterfly sanctuary
10. Write more literary pieces.


I really wish I had time to do more things than these.... (sigh!)


10 Things With More Money
1. Give it away to a relative in need.
2. Give it away to that hungry person on the street.
3. Give it away to an indigent patient.
4. Give it away to a charitable institution.
5. Give it away to support volunteer work.
6. Give it away to parish needs.
7. Give it away to the friend wishing for a new outfit.
8. Give it away to grow more forests.
9. Give it away to a micro-credit cooperative.
10. Give it away for the pro-life cause.


I have never really felt the need to have more money than what I have right now... I prefer to give it away rather than take on all the complications that comes with being rich.